by Cindy Holmes
(2009) Co-authored with Anne Fleming. Published in "Who’s Your Daddy And Other Writings on Queer Parenting", ed. Rachel Epstein. Sumach Press. Toronto, ON.
This piece takes the form of a personal and critical reflection and dialogue between a butch/femme queer feminist... more
This piece takes the form of a personal and critical reflection and dialogue between a butch/femme queer feminist couple about the experience and challenges of parenting and living as a butch/femme, queer family in a white, conservative, heteronormative city in the Interior of British Columbia.
We discuss how the current social and political context of this place
impacts and shapes our parenting and identities. We explore the impact of
the Christian right, pervasive racism and homophobia, rigid heteronormative, white and middle-class gender norms and isolation from other queer people on ourselves, our relationship as a queer couple, our parenting and on our four-year old daughter. We address also the idea of homonormativity and the perils of mainstream acceptance.
Separately but relatedly, we look at the difficulty of the "lesbian dad" and
how gender identity fluctuates with place and cultural context. Anne
identifies as a lesbian dad, who's called "Mum," and whose gender identity
shifts from comfortably butch/queer in the city to something closer to
trans/queer in the Okanagan.
Download (.pdf) 
